Unconditional Love
I’m not a fan of greeting card holidays….even birthdays. I think each additional day on this earth is something to be deeply grateful for, but I don’t feel others need to celebrate ME on that particular date. Some of my curmudgeonly attitudes carry over to weddings, though I’ve always enjoyed attending festive ones. I’m just wary of a bridal industry—and others like it—that profits from the pressures imposed on young women. Despite these general trepidations, planning Molly and Tyler’s wedding over the past year has been a personal pleasure, but I was not prepared for the emotional impact the actual event would have on me.
2026 has been a remarkable year of growth for my children and their partners. In the past, I sometimes became emotionally bogged down by the gap between where they were and the potential I saw in them. Still, I never doubted the unconditional love my daughters share with their partners, and that theme kept returning as I drafted my wedding speech. What I didn’t expect was how deeply that love would move the roughly 100 people in attendance—especially Gretchen.
Gretchen has been running the Palmer Building, our wedding venue, since 2008 and was an invaluable partner to us. After the ceremony, she told me that Molly was the happiest bride she’d ever seen. I thought it was a sweet compliment but didn’t give it much more thought. Then, as Tyler gave his speech, I saw Gretchen weeping, and her husband later told me she had never done that before. By the end of the night, Gretchen was saying that it was one of the most moving weddings she had witnessed among the many held in that building.
I can only attribute the evening’s emotional impact to the fact that Molly and Tyler never worried about formalities, which we kept to a minimum, or about executing a perfect ceremony. They simply wanted to celebrate with their friends.
Hurricane Isaias generated rain all day long. They embraced it.
Only love
Can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high
When the time came for speeches, I admit I was feeling a little too proud of what I had composed—until Tyler’s father delivered the kind of speech only a coach could give. Then Kayla blew us all away with her amazing words.
I’ll leave you with the written notes from my speech, followed by Kayla’s.
“(Interactive Cold Opening: Poll the guests for their favorite Molly memories)
Those are just a few of the Molly-isms from her early years that have entered the lexicon our immediate family. We love to bust each other’s chops in this family, and it’s an equal opportunity sport among each of us…. including Tyler and Jack. However, today, I’m not here to roast you, Molly, or Tyler, but I will do my best to strip away any sentimental platitudes so that what remains is an authentic expression of my and Sandy’s love and appreciation for your life together.
Growing up, Molly was—and still is—the most animated and unwavering member of our family. Remember Build-A-Bear? Is that still a thing? Anyway, Kayla and Molly amassed a zoo full of those animals over the years, but Molly’s favorite was always her stuffed monkey, whom she so cleverly named…Monkey Girl. Monkey Girl lived in the little cardboard house they give you to carry your new pet home from the mall. The strange part was that she was never allowed to leave her cardboard prison. I suppose Molly granted her the occasional furlough when no one was around, but that little monkey left a lasting mark: to this day, our nickname for Molly is still Monkey.
It may not surprise you that Molly likely inherited this fortitude—through both nature and nurture—from her father. That made for some legendary clashes, including the infamous afternoon when I abandoned you on the streets of Uptown Charlotte on the eve of your high school graduation. I’m happy to say we eventually found our way back to each other. I also give Kayla credit for sitting down with Molly and explaining that, eventually, a father-child relationship has to become a relationship between two adults. College is where Molly learned Adulting 101. She went from crying on move-in day to single-handedly changing dorms during her first semester when she decided she would no longer tolerate her roommate’s constant stream of male companions.
Only halfway through college, Molly was offered the general manager job at Sweet Frog after the owner fired her manager and realized that Molly could run the place better than anyone. I didn’t want her to take it because I was convinced she might drop out. Instead, Molly graduated on time while running one hell of a store—and she still runs it today. Now, some of our favorite adult conversations are about plotting strategies for handling difficult employees and customers.
College is also where Molly met Tyler. Because Molly is so open with Sandy and me, Tyler was quickly drawn into a close relationship with us, and we’re all better for it. Tyler, we have real conversations about life’s hardships and successes, our fears and hopes, and all the emotions that come with them. You call Sandy and me all the time to share a funny story, seek our counsel, or settle a debate with Molly about food, music, movies, or sports. What I appreciate most, though, is the unconditional love you show Molly. It’s hard to describe, but it’s the same quality Kayla and Jack share, and I see it in how effortlessly you make Molly a priority in your life. I’m also proud of the production career you’ve built with MrBeast. You found something you’re good at and made it your passion—not the other way around.
I tried to conjure up some wisdom or advice without sounding clichéd, but then I realized you don’t need it. Sandy and I raised our girls to be strong and independent. What I once mistook for stubbornness in your early years has grown into deep conviction and a steady moral compass—one now further guided by your new spiritual journey, Molly.
Take the long game and stay strong, navigating the challenges in life together and the rewards they bring. Be your own best advocate and remember that Sandy and I will always be here, offering our own version of unconditional love for as long as we’re together on this earth.
”
“For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Kayla, Molly’s older sister, which means I spent most of my childhood acting as her chauffeur, her duet partner, her co-star in school musicals, and occasionally her sworn enemy.
If you know Molly, you know she’s loyal and steadfast in what she believes in. She’s also known for adopting pretty much every animal she meets.
Fortunately, Tyler shares that very specific talent, which is probably why they now have three dogs and three cats living their best lives.
One of the things I admire most about Molly is the community she’s built around herself. Looking around this room, there are so many people who love her, support her, and are celebrating this marriage tonight. That’s a reflection of who she is and how deeply she cares for the people around her.
Now, growing up, Molly and I fought a lot. And by a lot, I mean I can’t think of a single conversation we had that didn’t involve raised voices, tears, or a dramatic recovery period. There may have even been a hairbrush or a hot hair tool launched in my direction once or twice.
But here’s the thing, I think we fought because we’re so much alike. We spent our lives side by side, challenging each other at every turn. She’s the pink sister to my purple sister. If you get it, you get it.
Those years gave us some of my favorite memories: late nights in the dance studio, endless car rides to national parks, dance competitions, and every random Hedrick adventure in between. And while we drove each other crazy, those experiences helped shape us into the strong, confident women we are today.
When Tyler came into the picture, I remember meeting him at an Abacab show. Afterwards, Jack and I were talking about how much we loved hanging out with him, but we were also privately wondering if he could possibly keep up with Molly and everything that comes with that. Not just her spontaneous ideas, but her moments of doubt, and all the wonderful chaos that comes with loving a Hedrick.
Honestly, we were mostly hoping we wouldn’t scare him away.
Yet here we are, 2,415 days later.
Tyler, you’ve become Molly’s first call, her safe place, and her partner in every season of life. Molly has never been known for her patience, but she chooses patience with you. And you meet her humor with your own.
You’ve loved her exactly as she is, and that’s a beautiful thing to witness.
Molly, I want to leave you with a line from our duet we performed together back in 2016.
”Let’s make a blood oath. No matter what happens, whoever wins... though it needs to be me because I’m a sore loser and will cry... we will always love each other and remain the dearest of friends.”
And Tyler, since we’re officially welcoming you to the family, I’ll leave you with a quote from The Lord of the Rings. “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door.” What Tolkien forgot to add was, “especially when you’re joining the Hedrick family.”
Thank you for being brave enough to take the journey anyway. We couldn’t be happier that you’re here together.
Please raise your glasses.
To Molly and Tyler, may your home always be filled with laughter, adventure, animal fur tumbleweeds, unwavering love, and the kind of friendship that lasts a lifetime.
Cheers
”
Leasons Learned From The Road
On April 6, Sandy and I set out on a 15-week journey across North America. To maximize this opportunity to unplug, I resisted the temptation to share every stop on social media for two obvious reasons:
1. I cannot be fully present in the moment if I’m consumed with sharing experiences on the FaceSpace
2. I don’t want to be that guy screaming: “Look at the cool shit I’m doing…and you’re not!”
Regarding point #2, I suppose this post is an inherently hypocritical exercise, but I’m writing this more for myself to reflect and remember (I’m ashamed of my 15-year-old self who procrastinated the required journaling in my sophomore English class). So…here are some memories and lessons I learned along our criss-cross of Canada and the US:
106 days, 16,000 miles, 24 states, 6 provinces, and 15 gigs
Lesson #1:
“Have you noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?”
- George Carlin -
Imagine if you were prohibited from ordering stuff on Amazon for four months! What if you could order from Amazon but had nowhere to put the stuff? One has little choice while living in a van, and it’s a liberating feeling. One of the joys of backpacking is the freedom of being responsible only for the belongings on your back and the steps ahead. This van trip generated similar feelings, but with a refrigerator, toilet, and comfy bed. This was also my first trip without the mental distraction of fires burning back at the office, or the annoying Zoom call awaiting me Monday morning. Since returning home, Sandy and I have tried to sustain that reduction in clutter, so we started putting all impulse buys into the Amazon Cart and letting them sit for a week before deciding whether they really add value to our lives. Try it.
Lesson #2:
“There are not Five Great Lakes. There are only Four Great Lakes, and one Lake Superior”
I learned this dad joke from the ferry captain at Apostle Islands National Lakeshore. We spent substantial time on all five lakes during this trip, and essentially circumnavigated Lake Superior, hugging its shores across Canada, and exploring its southern shores across Wisconsin and Michigan’s Upper Peninsula on the return trip. We finished our travels before the mysterious Lake America appeared on the map.
Lake Huron
Lesson #3:
“Shut the fuck up”
One of my most annoying traits is the need to analyze and comment on every event in life (I can imagine those who know me nodding in agreement as you read this). At the beginning of this trip, Sandy and I were still re-learning how to get along in my post-retirement life (See my “Arrival Fallacy” blog entry), and this trip was a great opportunity to eliminate distractions and reinvest in my relationship with her. On the flip side, living in small quarters where you are in each other’s presence 24 hours a day (the only exception being when I would go for a solo hike) requires a higher level of patience and understanding. I once started an argument in the grocery store over which size of bagged lettuce we should buy based on our limited refrigerator space. After that incident, I trained the little voice in my head to remind myself to STFU before I pick my battles. Being right just isn’t worth it most of the time.
STFU…or else
Lesson #4:
“America Sucks”
I love Canada, and many of the people I met there this spring reminded me of how badly we Americans have been behaving. I’ve traveled to Canada dozens of times, but this trip was different. Our gigs in Quebec drew some of the most enthusiastic crowds Abacab has ever played to, and many in the audience came to speak to me after these shows. After sharing their appreciation for our love of this music, the consistent unsolicited feedback I received was: “We really do love you Americans, just not your president.” In the 17 years I’ve had a social media account, I’ve never posted anything about politics or religion, and I’m not about to start it here. I also try not to judge anyone for what they believe or the conclusions they draw from events, no matter how incomprehensible that conclusion may seem to me. I find it’s better to focus on behaviors, and it baffles me how selfish, divisive, and self-righteous others can be, even if they are defending a position I agree with. Maybe we all need to STFU just a little more.
Montreal
Lesson #5
“America is the greatest country in the world”
This is what the contact for our Toronto gig retorted when I shared those stories from Quebec, and I have to agree this is also true. During our journey, we visited 12 State Parks, 7 National Parks, 3 National Historic Sites, and 1 National Monument (on top of 5 Canadian National Parks). When Ken Burns released his mini-series The National Parks: America's Best Idea, he took the title from author Wallace Stegner, who described National Parks as "the best idea we ever had” in America. Being a bucket list guy, I’ve obsessively collected over 700 Passport Stamps from the 433 official units of the National Park System (visiting over ¾ of them). Of those 433, 63 are designated National Parks, and this trip took us to Crater Lake NP, my last of the contiguous 48 states, and 59th overall. Only 3 remote Alaskan parks and the elusive National Park of American Samoa remain, and I’m already devising a plan to complete my quest.
Crater Lake National Park
Lesson #6
“Caring for others is the greatest pleasure in life”
Last month, we said goodbye to our beloved Max. His health had been declining in stages this year, and we weren’t even sure he would make it through our epic van journey. Instead, this trip became the ultimate farewell tour for all of us. Being in the small confines of the van together, or sitting by a campfire most nights, meant we were always in his presence. Each day he enjoyed a healthy dose of fresh air, singing birds, bugs, and plenty of dirt to roll in. We gave ourselves permission to check into a hotel occasionally to stretch out and get a clean shower, but near the end of the trip, we fully embraced our lifestyle with Max and opted to go the last 30 straight days without a hotel break. I struggled mightily over the decision to let Max go. Sandy has always been his soulmate and favorite person, but it was Sandy who helped me accept the fact that I was holding out for a miserable end of life for him due to my own selfish reasons. I know we are not alone in grieving over such a difficult process, but this is the first time in our 35 years of marriage that Sandy and I have not had the responsibility of caring for another life. It still feels strange, and I sometimes feel guilty over our new ability to travel unencumbered.
We still have lots to care about outside our immediate home. I’m grateful that Sandy’s mom survived cancer, that my mother’s health has remained steady, and that she can still kick my ass at Jeopardy. Kayla and Jack just purchased their first new home together, and Molly and Tyler marry in less than three weeks!
Thank you, Max, for giving us the best 14 years of our lives.
December, 2012
August, 2026
No AI (besides basic aids from Grammarly) was used in the creation of this blog entry
Abacab adventures suck when you’re having them…
April 10, 11:24 PM – Phone call from Pete: “Matt you need to call Cliff right now, they’ve been hit!”
It’s the first night of a six-week run of shows for Abacab - The Music of Genesis, and the first of five straight sold-out shows in a single week, starting in Hobart, IN. This is the biggest and longest tour that we (Cliff Stankiewicz, Dan Vitco, James Nelson, Pete Lents) have performed together as Abacab, and we were excited to leverage our brand new equipment truck, supported by Tim Correll, Joey Bostock, and Tyler Whiting. Within minutes of departing from that first gig, Cliff and Tim were hit head-on in our truck by a drunk driver. This guy was reeking of booze, and local police had him in cuffs within minutes, followed by another unrelated passing vehicle that was also stopped and taken to jail (apparently, this is a popular corridor for booze cruising). Cliff banged up his wrist on the steering wheel, but everyone in both vehicles was ok.
Hobart, IN
After squeezing in four hours of sleep, we were all hands-on-deck to transfer our road cases to a U-Haul, and the band and crew began the five-hour trip to Cleveland while I searched for a body shop that might take our truck. Cleveland has a special place in our hearts, but it always finds a way to complicate my arrival (an urgent care stop for a kidney stone attack delayed me for the same gig last year). Cleveland is also the home of our most loyal fan base, though Genesis fans can also suck at times. While enjoying a break in our green room during intermission, a lady walked right through our door without knocking. She immediately approached Pete with something like this:
Lady: I saw your setlist, and you’re not playing The Carpet Crawlers (CC)
Pete: Yeah, we’re playing CC here tomorrow night
Lady: But last year when you played here, you promised you’d play CC
Pete: We are, just tomorrow night
Lady: Yeah, but those of us who attended last year would have bought tickets to the first show this year
Pete: (with a grin on his face that signals that he’s about to tell her to fuck off) See, we actually took a lot of requests last year, and when our first show sold out, we needed to spread out all those songs across both nights because we also promised we’d perform two completely different sets each night
Lady: But tomorrow’s show is also sold out. Tell you what, I’ll give you $20 to play CC
We should have kicked her out at that point, but we patiently waited for her to accept the reality that we weren’t budging. Those two Cleveland shows were a huge success, comprising almost four hours of unique songs. In fact, we maintained a rotation of over 40 songs this tour to keep things fresh and tailor to our specific audiences. To cap off the weekend, we all visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame museum the day before Phil Collins was finally inducted. Coincidence? I think not.
Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame - Cleveland
We spent the next few weeks crisscrossing the Midwest and Mid-Atlantic. Between gigs, Sandy and I took time to explore the beautiful state parks of Ohio, Pennsylvania, and West Virginia, including a meet-up with my namesake, who I discovered was running for Sheriff of Rush County, Indiana. To Sandy’s dismay, this was not my first meetup with a total stranger I found on the Interweb (ask her about the guy with the wood chipper). This ‘Matthew Hedrick’ never heard of the band Rush, but he was a warm guy devoted to his community and gladly gave me some campaign swag I put on full display at our local show later that evening.
Ohiopyle falls
Still, the universe always has a way to offset the warmth of humanity, this time via a Facebook message to the band:
“I cannot tell you how upset I was and still am that you did not play Invisible Touch or Abacab last night in Hagerstown. You should state this at the beginning of your show - when you finished, I literally could not believe that you did not play either song. I was furious.”
Feeling a bit spicy after our Carpet Crawler encounter in Cleveland, I sent her this response:
We’re not sure what you hope to accomplish by your upset…or “furious” message to us, but we will not respond with anger if that is what you are seeking:
"Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him."
— Epictetus
Would you be upset with yourself if you realized that we often update our setlists when we receive thoughtful song requests in advance? Would it make you furious to know we would have gladly received your request to play those songs when we return next time? Instead, you seem to feel entitled to the privilege of hearing two random songs, rather than enjoying the long list of other radio hits we played that night. If our audience expects us to be mind-readers, should we apologize for all the other random hits we didn’t play that night?
We are in no position to tell you what you should do next time you attend a live performance, but you could choose to approach it with a more open mind to enjoy the experience like the rest of the audience. This may even help you enjoy other experiences in life a little more.
I admit that was a patronizing response, but I was also inspired by a similar learning experience from a New Orleans bus driver years ago. Sandy and I were on our first trip to the French Quarter, and I’m throwing one of my classic tantrums toward some slow driver in front of me. Reading my body language in the lane next to me, the driver opens the bus door to get my attention:
“Hey, you’re on vacation. Just have fun. You’re in Nawlins!”
Was I that obviously a tourist? The spirit of that bus driver helps me power through many wasted emotions to this day, but I’m still working on that. Speaking of vacation fun, Abacab took advantage of some of our off days between gigs, starting with a visit to Museum of Music Technology (MMT) (themmt.org): A 33,000-square-foot facility in Harleysville, Pennsylvania that houses a massive collection of rare synthesizers, vintage amplifiers, and gear by legendary artists. I’ve never been so overwhelmed by such a massive collection, and much of the museum is hands-on. To see Dan play Tony Banks’ legendary parts on Hammond Organ, Mellotron, Arp Pro Soloist, and RMI Electra-Piano was mind-blowing. Pete also had his mind blown by a visit to the Star Trek Original Series Set Tour (startrektour.com).
The last leg of the tour was a huge milestone for us: Our first dates in Canada. The band and crew managed to squeeze a few relaxing days of bonfires, paddling, and guitar duels between James and Dan at a lakefront cabin in the Adirondacks before our first gig in Rosemère (Montreal), Quebec.
Minerva Lake, NY
This was followed by Gatineau (Ottawa), and a private event near Toronto. Our promoter had warned us that Quebec is teaming with rabid Genesis fans (especially the Gabriel era), but we were not prepared for the overwhelming enthusiasm and dedication from those who came to our shows.
On our very first night, we experienced the mother of all technical difficulties when a power surge blew all the soundboard settings three songs in, and we had to re-soundcheck everything for over 30 minutes in front of the full audience. We kept our cool and had fun with the crowd during the whole ordeal. By the time we restarted the show, the whole theatre was rooting for us. Not to be outdone: A ghost in the next venue’s lighting system decided to blast the whole audience in bright house lights during the whole show. They were more lit than we were! Despite our fear that might dampen the mood of the night, Gatineau blew us away after a standing ovation for a second encore we were not expecting.
I borrowed the term “adventures suck when you’re having them” from Neil Peart. We endured all the things that “suck” (long drives, wrecked truck, whiny people, and technical difficulties) for the opportunity to play this music we deeply love. We bonded closer to Tyler and Joey and got to fully appreciate the dedication and talents of our new road manager, Tim. Just this week, I heard the same concept expressed in more philosophical terms by Dr. John Demartini, whose core principles of Balanced Perceptions recognize that every experience in life has both positive and negative aspects. By recognizing both sides of an event, it dissolves "all-or-nothing" thinking, which can help us enjoy the good times in life even more.
To put this all into perspective, though, we received tragic news the morning of our final gig. Pete’s mate in Thurston Howell Band, Eric Lovell, lost his long battle with cancer that morning. Pete was dealing with indescribable emotions that day, as was Joey, who had also become close to Eric recently. We all had a strong affection for Eric and his partner, Gigi, including Sandy and me, based on our visits when we would talk about anything but music. After a cathartic moment during our intermission that night, Pete channeled those wells of emotion into the most energetic performance I’ve ever seen him deliver. At one point during our duel drumming for the Los Endos finale, I just stopped playing (moving my hands to appear as if I was playing) and watched his power take over that stage. Pete played and sang a perfect show that night, and I can’t think of a better way to honor Eric.
Thurston Howell Band
No AI (besides basic aids from Grammarly) was used in the creation of this blog entry
Arrival Fallacy
Ok, the idea of writing a BLOG in retirement seemed like a slam dunk. Apply all that spare time you freed up from work with endless bursts of creative passion. Wrong. Over the past three months, I arrogantly assumed that because I’m retiring into something (travel + hitting things with sticks), I had happiness all figured out. Wrong again.
I’m coming to grips with the Arrival Fallacy that I’ve built up over the past year (or possibly my whole career?) and carefully reassessing the important things in life. One inspiration has been Scott Galloway’s “The Algebra of Happiness: The Pursuit of Success, Love and what it All Means.” Clearly, there’s no actual formula, but I’ve always appreciated his acerbic wit, and his observations in this book gave me a microscopic view of my own disfunctions I need to work on. My Bullshit. One invaluable tool is his definition of unconditional love as the ultimate human achievement. I don’t interpret that in a sacrificial or romantic way. Instead, I’m becoming increasingly aware that having a deeper connection with Sandy can be the most abundant resource for achieving my own happiness. Stated more simply and directly, my friend Kevin just told me last week about choices he’s made in life, and how it was a no-brainer for “the love of my life.”
Another motivation has been The Minimalists podcast by Joshua Fields Millburn and T.K. Coleman. To be clear, I’m a failing minimalist, but Sandy and I both find joy searching for ways to remove physical and emotional clutter from our lives. I spent the first month of my retirement clogging my life with clutter by saying yes to everything (I have unlimited free time now!) and glued to my computer more than 8 hours a day developing and promoting content for those “creative passions.” I realize now that work/life balance needs to be succeeded by a new life balance that is free from digital clutter. Here are several goals I’ve set to control that rectangle thingy we stare at all day:
A. Limit screen time to pre-planned hours
B. Disable message alerts on my apple watch
C. Keep my phone in silent mode at ALL times
D. Put the phone completely away in the evenings
E. Stop charging the phone at my bedside table
F. TURN OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
That last one is my greatest aspiration. Hypocritically, I still promote my bands there, and it’s the primary way to share this BLOG, but I’d rather have a thoughtful exchange with a few people than thousands of pointless brain droppings on the FaceSpace. I’ve become completely disinterested in doom scrolling, and caring less about others’ content has been cathartic. I’d like to have a little fun by airing my top 10 grievances with the socials:
1. Advertising: If you're not paying for the product, you are the product
2. Tribalism: Too many people arguing for their “Team” vs a genuine interest in objective debate
3. Logical Fallacies: Littered with general truths that have little connection to the logic of one’s argument
4. Reposting: Too much lazy copy/paste behavior without checking your sources (Google is your friend)
5. False Equivalencies: People can't walk into a room and see an elephant and a mouse and not know which one is bigger
6. Conspiracy Theories: Lazy attempts to justify something you want to believe
7. What-about-isms: People love to deflect blame for objectively bad behavior by distracting with some other unrelated event
8. Self-righteousness: Many of you think you’re smarter than you are and never admit you’re wrong
9. Rudeness: The shit people say to each other that one would never say in person is baffling
10. Politics: You’re not going to change anyone’s mind…you’re not helping
For the next few months, Sandy, Max, and I will be traveling in Prime Mover, and I hope to share some of those adventures as an alternative to the socials. I’ll try not to take myself too seriously and will work to improve my storytelling skills, but I will continue to use no AI (besides Grammarly) in the creation of these posts.
I’ve quoted this Neil Peart lyric many times in my travels, but only recently have I come to fully grasp its broader wisdom:
The Point Of The Journey Is Not To Arrive
Last Day Worked
Retire into something…
I’ve had the good fortune to work for three privately owned companies throughout my 35-year career: Booke & Company, Hewitt Associates, and Fidelity Investments. Fatefully, those first two employers were eventually acquired by the same public company (which I shall not name), prompting me to jump ship both times. Before that, I worked part-time as a “Swing Manager” at McDonald’s throughout high school and college…one of the most important formative experiences of my life. I also met Sandy there.
Today is my last day of employment. I’ve never not been employed since my 16th birthday. Not one single day. I even once worked the weekend between changing jobs (while Sandy was laid up with a broken foot). I was a bona fide workaholic for many years, and I thank Sandy, Kayla, and Molly for tolerating that while I learned to be a better partner and father. I am not suggesting that going to college and working a corporate job is remotely the definition of success; it’s just that path that I chose. I’m a firm believer in Scott Galloway’s notion that one shouldn’t necessarily “follow their passion”…I was better served by finding something I was good at and making that my passion.
Along this journey, I experienced plenty of setbacks, but was guided by great mentors who helped me find my way:
Ken Whicker was my first manager at McDonald’s. He taught me the values of motivating others, being excellent in your field (he would literally quiz me on the weight and dimensions of a frozen Filet-O-Fish), and most importantly, being customer-focused.
Lee Bettis was my first senior leader at Booke, who took me under his wing and gave me a chance to learn from my mistakes.
Craig Maloney plucked me out of project management to give me my first leadership role in Relationship Management at Hewitt. He had the uncanny ability to make me want to run through a wall even after revealing that everyone thought I completely bombed my first leadership presentation.
Nancy Pallerino entered my life twice at the most critical crossroads of my career. She saw something in me that few people did, opening up opportunities I never imagined. She guided me and countless others in selfless ways we didn’t realize until we had the luxury of time to reflect upon.
My Dad set the template for an unrelenting work ethic, and my Mom instilled in me a level of curiosity and persistence that laid the foundation for all of these opportunities.
Honorable mention goes to anyone who may not have been my strongest advocate, but had the integrity to shoot straight with me. If you ever receive tough feedback, get passed over for a promotion, or even get managed out, check your ego at the door and learn from it. My friend Jim teaches his kids that you are your own best advocate.
I realize I’ve been fortunate in life not to face many of the social or economic hurdles others encounter. However, I believe that anyone can aspire to surround themselves with good people who do good for others. Stated more directly: Bust your ass to earn the privilege to be influenced by great role models! My next phase will be focused on:
Being more present to my immediate family
Decluttering my life in pursuit of “What is the most excellent thing I can do today?”
Devoting more time to my Creative Projects
That includes giving this Blog thing a try. I’m not sure what I have to say is all that important or interesting, but I’m sick of social media, and I hope this will be a more authentic way to connect with people. You can’t like, subscribe, or comment, but you can contact me at matthewhedrick9@gmail.com if you have something thoughtful to share.